Driving south on I94 in Wisconsin, I swear to God there’s only billboards for one destination. Anyone who has ever made that drive knows I’m talking about Noah’s Ark Water park, a place that calls itself “America’s Largest Water Park!” Those billboards get on my last frickin’ nerve by the time I get to the dells, but I have to admit, when I visited Noah’s Ark last summer with my kids, it was the only thing I didn’t like.
Noah’s Ark is a little light on the theming, but that certainly didn’t matter to the kids. It’s funny how that kind of stuff is really for the adults. The park IS surrounded by gorgeous wooded areas capturing the feel of Wisconsin in the summertime, and in my opinion, that’s better than any theme.
My Favorite Attractions
I’ve mentioned before how much I love beaches and pools, so it’s no surprise that number one on my list is The Big Kahuna. It’s very ocean like, and I’m gonna say it’s the best wave pool I’ve ever been in. That’s saying a lot considering how many wave pools my family have been tossed around in over the past 10 years.
Number two is the Sponge Bob 3D movie. It pains me to say that, because it shows I’m no teenager, but it’s Sponge Bob. I love Sponge Bob! It’s a great break from the sun and the water slides. Slows the kids down for a bit.
The Zip Line is a favorite, because it brings out the kid in me. It’s fun to try to hang onto that zip line as long as I can before I slip off, and land in the water. It’s that fake danger thing I love. Because I haven’t liked any kind of real danger since my first daughter was born.
Kid’s Favorite Attractions
The kids loved The Big Kahuna as much as I did. I’m not exaggerating when I say it’s a great wave pool. The waves keep crashing and crashing and they are high enough to knock you around and get you screaming, without killing your 11 year old, 70 pound daughter. For maximum effect, have two Leinie’s Honey Weiss before you hit the wave. This IS Wisconsin after all.
The Point of No Return was the hands down favorite of the 4 kids I took to Noah’s Ark. It’s a 10 story, almost vertical drop and it is utterly terrifying to watch. I did not experience it myself. Watching my kids push off the top of that thing was enough for me. It’s over now and they survived. I’m not making any promises for anyone else.
Black Anaconda and Dark Voyage are two of the other thrill rides they love, but in reality, they love all of them because everything at Noah’s Ark is just bigger, and faster, and longer than water rides at the run of the mill water park.
Attractions of the Non-Water Variety
Even though Noah’s Ark is billed as the largest water park in America, there’s a surprising number of things to do that aren’t water related. Perfect for some short breaks from the sun.
There’s an arcade, which is the first thing my boys want to do. We have to stop in there, of course, but because I control the money, and I AM the boss of them no matter what they say, we’ll head over to Ark-ology 101, which is the educational portion of our day:)
Ark-ology 101 teaches kids about the physics of how the rides work, and has photos of Noah’s Ark through the years. On their website, they joke about the 80′s hairstyles, and they aren’t kidding:) Made me nostalgic as I looked at them. Adults and kids alike will enjoy their time visiting Ark-ology 101, especially if you are a big dork about that kind of stuff like I am.
There’s also mini-golf, and remote control pirate ships. Woot!
I noticed on the website that there’s a “buy one day, get one day half price” deal. To check out everything, you probably need two days, so I would recommend it if you have the time.
About the Author: Debbie Ferm is the founder of Travel Dither. To get more from Debbie, sign up for the Travel Dither newsletter now.